Contribution forwarded to the site by Rose Mortenson (AGCAS)

Saying what we mean

• Think through what we want others to hear
• Chose simple language and consider how to say it
• If it comes out ‘wrong’, immediately acknowledge it with ”I’m sorry I didn’t mean that”, and try again

Clarifying understanding

• Paraphrasing their contribution
• Stating what their contribution meant to you

Avoiding Power language

• Avoid language that gives no room for manoeuvre e.g. ‘go’ ‘get’ ‘do’
• Ask for suggestions and volunteer your suggestions

Questions or Statements

• Recognise when questions are really disguised statements e.g. “is anyone feeling cold” means “I am feeling cold”
• Ask participants to re-frame their questions as statements it is very empowering

Changing de-personalised language into ‘I’ language

• ‘It’ is used when we don’t want to own a statement e.g. “it is a difficult concept to grasp” actually means “I am finding it hard to understand that concept”
• ‘You’ is used to project feelings or thoughts on to others e.g. “You haven’t explained what is going to happen today” means “I don’t know what is going to happen today” or even “I feel uncomfortable because I don’t know what is going to happen today”
• ‘We’ is used to share the blame or claim support e.g. “We are really interested in finding out about…” means “I am really keen to find out about…”
• ‘One’ is used to imply that everybody thinks that way e.g. “One believes in complete confidentiality” means “I think everyone believes in complete confidentiality”

Avoiding Limiting language

• Replacing ‘can’t’ with ‘won’t’ thus recognising that I am making a choice not to do something e.g. “I can’t do this exercise in front of everyone” becomes “I won’t do this exercise in front of everyone”
• Replacing ‘need’ with ‘want’ thus recognising the difference between essential and desirable factors e.g. “I need more time” becomes “I want more time”.